"Dick, frankly you do not have the war plan... which makes me quite happy."

"He alone is wise who can accommodate himself to all contingencies of life; but the fool contends, and struggling, like a swimmer, against the stream."

"One has a greater sense of degradation after an interview with a doctor than from any human experience."

"Everything on earth is created for a purpose, it's up to us to find out what purpose each thing serves."

"Listen: We are here to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different."

"Although the constant shadow of certain death looms over everyday, the pleasures and joys of life can be so fine and affecting that the heart is nearly stilled in astonishment."

"Women have babies and men provide the support. If you don't like the way we're made you've got to take it up with God."

"It's not in how many times you fall down, what matters is how many times you get back up."

"The Ten Commandments contain 297 words, the Bill of Rights 463 words, and Lincoln's Gettysburg Address 266 words. A recent federal directive regulating the price of cabbage contains 26,911 words."

"I can't be running back and forth forever between grief and high delight."

"To live we must conquer incessantly, we must have the courage to be happy."

"If you can spend a perfectly useless afternoon in a perfectly useless manner, you have learned how to live."