"The trouble with born-again Christians is that they are an even bigger pain the second time around."

"The only thing wrong with immortality is that it tends to go on forever."

"I tend to live in the past because most of my life is there."

"Isn't it nice that people who prefer Los Angles to San Francisco live there?"

"The trouble with Oakland is that when you get there, it's there."

"All American cars are basically Chevrolets."

"I used to go missing a lot... Miss Canada, Miss United Kingdom, Miss World."

"We may lay in a stock of pleasures, as we would lay in a stock of wine; but if we defer tasting them too long, we shall find that both are soured by age."

"Money is a terrible master but an excellent servant."

"The woman who cannot tell a lie in defense of her husband is unworthy of the name of wife."

"Independence is the recognition of the fact that yours is the responsibility of judgment and nothing can help you escape it."

"Shame is that intrinsic meter of our own heart to tell us that we have failed to follow our own moral compass."