"I've never been a millionaire but I just know I'd be darling at it."

"By whom?"

"'Coolidge is dead' 'How could they tell?"

"This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force."

"If wild my breast and sore my pride, I bask in dreams of suicide, If cool my heart and high my head I think 'How lucky are the dead."

"The best way to keep children at home is to make the home atmosphere pleasant - and let the air out of the tires."

"It's a sure sign of summer if the chair gets up when you do."

"England has forty-two religions and only two sauces."

"The first and great commandment is: Don't let them scare you."

"Behold the Lamb of God, which taketh away the sin of the world!"

"When I am asked, 'What do you think of our audience?' I answer, 'I know two kinds of audiences only--one coughing, and one not coughing.'"

"I use emotion for the many and reserve reason for the few."