"Put out the light."

"When you play, play hard; when you work, don't play at all."

"Whenever you are asked if you can do a job, tell 'em, 'Certainly I can!' - and get busy and find out how to do it."

"When they call the roll in the Senate, the Senators do not know whether to answer 'Present' or 'Not Guilty.'"

"A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education."

"A thorough knowledge of the Bible is worth more than a college education."

"Have more than thou showest; Speak less than thou knowest."

"Wine is bottled poetry."

"Assuming either the Left Wing or the Right Wing gained control of the country, it would probably fly around in circles."

"Last time I tried to make love to my wife nothing happened, so I said to her, 'What's the matter, you can't think of anybody either?'"

"To become acquainted with kindness one must be prepared to learn new things and feel new feelings. Kindness is more than a philosophy of the mind. It is a philosophy of the spirit."

"Beware when the great God lets loose a thinker on this planet."